GUIDELINES: Rules to Live By - peacefully

Making everyone feel safe, valued and heard

​      Decide Everything Together                                                                                                                              

1. Use "for me" and "I" statements instead of saying "It should be" or "everybody knows that"

2. No hitting: With hands, words, eyes, snorts, sounds of disgust, shrugs, gestures or threats.

3. No mind-reading by saying you know what the other person thinks or is thinking. You can only guess or say that you "make up that" or "believe that"

4. When you say or do something you see is not what you wanted to, you get a "do-over".  Say, "Oops I wish I had said/done this instead" Then restate it the way you wished you had done in the first place. You will be amazed how it can supplant the unwanted one.

 

WEEKS 1-3  ( For Couples download the workbook)

Below is a list of helpful reading material, outlines, diagrams and homework with which you will be engaged when we start and refer to throughout your journey.
Couples -  please download the workbook that we will be following from week to week

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NEW !! Our "Make Your Bed" Program Sign up for A Daily call to inspire optimism, resilience and grit.

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"What I know about myself that makes it hard to be in a relationship with me  is........"

Please be prepared to finish this deep and healing sentence then talk about it.

Below are useful ideas, guideslines, forms, diagrams, tests and lists we will be using in the course of counseling: Please look for them in our sessions and then download

Imago Dialogue Steps (Condensed)

• Decision Wheel

• ACES Test - Adverse Childhood Experiences

• Imago Dialogue Process and Decision Wheel

• Feelings List

• Maslow's Hierarchy

• Johari's Window

• Rudoph Dreikers responses to discouraged kids

• Five Top Phrases to gain cooperation from Challenging Kids
• ODD Kids - Oppositional Defiance Disorder - Change the PayOff

• Eisenhower's Matrix of Priority Time Focus for Important and Not Urgent 

• For Couples Counseling please read"Getting the Love You Want" by Harville Hendrix

• "EMDR The Breakthrough Therapy" EMDR - Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing - If considering EMDR therapy please read this first

• For Career discovery please read "Do What Your Are" by Paul Tieger

• Make A Decision Plan

• Five Steps of the Blessing

• PTSD explained by VA

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WEEKS 4-8

Below is a multi-week homework assignment I will help you develop in our sessions.

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1. Make a list of 10 positive and 10 negative characteristics for each parent or caretaker. and bring it in to review.

2. Identify, by characteristics, which caretaker(s) your partner reminds you of most and be prepared to role play with your partner.

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WEEKS 8-12

Below are more exercises we will do together

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1. Describe your ideal future life

2. Identify the benefits to you, your partner, your family, friends, co-workers and your community at large

3. Set achievable goals to achieve that vision

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& BEYOND

 

To help you make your life your most exciting and rearding hobby, I will provide you with a list of Workshops to attend and long term goals set

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The Secret of Forgiveness

This is like the Dead Sea Scolls of the Emotional and Mental Health world, that solves the mystery of how we shed the struggle, burden and poison that anger and resentment plague so many.

Here is the Parable of Forgiveness

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It was read to me by Tim S. born in Belaruse and read it to me in Russian but translated it in
beautiful prose. Tim found it while searching for stories to read to his young son about important
Life Lessons that he remembers from his own childhood. He then translated it for me to share with you.

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